After analyzing my seemingly larger reflection in the mirror, just after eating one cookie and before grabbing another, I texted a CoDA friend.
Why is that when one feels like a behemoth, one just eats more?
Stop stress eating, she replied.
On the contrary, I think it’s bored eating.
It’s hard to think of myself as bored. After all, I read a lot and bore everyone around me with an excited rehashing of what I’ve read. (“The Wright brothers flew! They actually flew!”)
Tomorrow, a working model kit of a V-8 engine arrives. I’ve never been more excited about 250 pieces of plastic.
A colleague is lending me a jigsaw puzzle later this week.
I’ve started walking again each morning.
And there’s more in the works.
So, why am I bored?
There are some who say that boredom has a useful purpose. It can precede creativity. It can provide a much-needed mental break.
But it can be a destructive state, too, often leading to compulsive behaviors such as—you guessed it, overeating.
Which I’m doing. A lot.
I feel most bored when I’m waiting. Waiting for the next phone call or email at work. Waiting for him here at home. And, interestingly, despite having even more “downtime” during the weekend, I do not feel bored then. I feel fulfilled, satisfied, content. I’m not busying myself. I’m simply doing things that feel purposeful.
I’m simply doing things that feel purposeful.
That feel purposeful.
Now that’s something to think more about.