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I like this image.  There is something very powerful about seeing beauty emerge from beneath the snow.  About seeing the first signs of spring bloom when the nights are still cold and the days short.  It’s hopeful.

Today’s reading addresses goal-setting.  Make plans, the author states.  Think about what you want the year ahead to look like in every facet of your life.

Goal-setting is powerful she stresses.  So set goals, visualize them, and then let them go.  Trust that God will manifest the very best for you.

This is a well-timed reading as a new codependent friend texted me this morning a video of her vision board.  It was filled with quotes and pictures.  As the camera passed over the picture of a ring, she said, “That’s not a wedding ring.  It’s a ring from Jesus.”

I imagine that this image for her represents her desire to be closer to God.  My gut reaction was, oh, but my board would include a wedding ring.  Because I do want to be married again.  Despite my divorce, and my actions within my marriage that led to it, I still view marriage as sacred, special, and important.  And honestly, even more so now than when I first married.

But, the author cautions, don’t set goals that you cannot control.  Well, there goes that.

Inspired by today’s reading, and my friend’s vision board, I started tearing pictures out of magazines for my own.  A cup of tea. A quote about tranquility and living in the present. A woman standing in the middle of her rose garden.  A recipe for a dark chocolate avocado tart may have gotten slipped in, too.

As an airplane seat mate recently affirmed, I am a seeker.  I’m still seeking who I am.  And so preparing a vision board seems easier said than done today.

One thing I do want to do is travel.  During our breakup this summer, I put a deposit down on a 9-day tour of Morocco for March.  The deposit is transferable between trips–and this company offers several around the world–but I cannot decide where to go.

India?  Tanzania?  Belize?  Scotland?  Finland?

Each destination sounds exotic and the itineraries are exciting.  But I cannot make up my mind, and my deposit is a use it or lose it kind of thing.

So, decide I must.  If I was planning to travel now, I’d choose Finland.  But perhaps waiting some months would be beneficial, too.  And then the wild idea of doing two trips crosses my mind.

Ah, but Oregon.  Those trips are expensive, and my goal is to make four annually.  I miss my babies.

But I also miss me.

And to be the best long-distance mom I can be means being the best me.  And that’s not going to be found sitting in the living room watching “Under the Tuscan Sun,” or “Eat, Pray, Love.”  Over and over.

There’s a world out there.  And while I don’t have to see it all to find myself,  I’d like to step out of my comfort zone to find it again.  To find me again.

How nice that meeting will be.

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